8 Months Postpartum + Behind The Scenes of Swim Spot Shoot

 8 Months Postpartum

So I 've been 8 months postpartum for a couple weeks now but I wanted to take this opportunity to share some of my heart with you ladies.  I've really been doing the same thing for the past 6 months that I've been working out since having my sweet angel: cardio & weight training. I do the precore for 45-60 mins 3 days a week and then a 50 minute weight training class 1-2 times a week.  I haven't changed anything about my diet besides eating more because im always hungry while breastfeeding.  I definitely have way more of a sweet tooth while EBF too. Which i've embraced to the fullest. For me I eat healthy because I enjoy putting delicious nutrition packed real food into my body because I care about my health and well being as a wife and mother.  I appreciate that God has thus far given me a heathly body that doesn't have any handicaps or ailments, is pain free, a body that can be strong and idependent and get me to and from where i want and need to go, a body that can birth a child, feed a child, have fun and play! This body is a gift and that is why i take care of it. With that said, I definitely indulge at least once a day in something and its usually dessert after dinner or eating something less nutritious and more processed because lets face it, we gotta live a little and enjoy some delicious and naughty foods like nachos, pizza and bread and butter, YUM! I always say everything in moderation, but sometimes you go a little overboard and just have to let it roll of your back and get back to the grind of eating health  and being active the next day or week as best you can. I hope that answers some of the questions I get asked about "what i eat", "what I do for work outs", and "what my mentality is about healthy eating and living". 

I was asked to model for Swim Spot this past week and took the opportunity to get out there and feel free and confident in my postpartum body. There was a tiny distant voice inside tempting me to believe the lie that I wasn't a "good fit" or "what they're looking for" but they chose me and that reassured me that even though im a mom that doesnt make me less appealing, less beautiful, less free to be myself, less of a women, any less sexy, any less strong, or any less confident.  It actually makes me even more proud of my body, and forces me to look at the evidence of my strength and feel empowered by this body God has blessed me with. So I said yes and I am so happy I did! Swim spot brought the best team of people who were so easygoing, fun, and sweet! I had a blast shooting with them yesterday and will be sure to share with you all the finished product once the article comes out in the Orange County Register at the end of the month.  Check out their bikinis, they are the cutest!! I'll share more on that in a separate Swim Spot post. For now I just want to encourage you mamas to enjoy your healthy bodies, learn to love yourselves, it takes time and a TON of effort and fighting off negative thoughts and lies about yourself, but you CAN do it, you can live with self confidence and accept yourself the way you are. There is no such thing as perfection so if you are seeking it you will always fail and that is no way to live. We can always better ourselves, its a journey, not a destination..so get rid of the idea of wanting to achieve perfection and be accepting of your best self.. whatever that looks like it will be personal to who you are. You are God's creation, so you are exactly the way He wanted you to be, unique and beautiful.. a stunning image of His handy work.

This little guy and I make an effort to get outside everyday and go for a walk or hang at the park or pool.

Him and his daddy are my home and no matter what my day is like the path im on always leads me home.

Here are some behind the scenes snaps from the SwimSpot crew's Iphones. Cant wait to see the real photos and share them with you all! These cute bikinis definitely make a girl feel gorgeous and playful!

Lauren of Swell Beauty touching up my red lip for this retro look

How about this Hurley one piece... SO CUTE!

* all photos were taken with an iphone in this post *

 Black & White Retro Bikini by Guess

TIger One piece by Hurley

White Lacey Two Piece by Reef Girls

All Bikinis c/o Swim spot

Makeup by Me

Hair Styled by Swell Beauty (Dee & Lauren)

4 Months Postpartum, Body Talk: Healthy Eyes To See

4 Months Postpartum, Body Talk: Healthy Eyes To See

*These photos were taken several years ago by the fabulous photographer Whitney Schey *

(I love her creativity & this was a few years after coming out of that place I was in so I thought these were fitting)

Im writing this midway through my 4th month, closer to 5 months postpartum actually, because I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to write. I knew I wanted to use this time as a platform to speak truth and positivity into you ladies. I knew I wanted to lift you up, lift myself up, and lift women up in general when it comes to the hardships we face about our bodies.  I knew I wanted to post more about my own journey, my story, not just postpartum but in life when it comes to how I have valued, viewed, and nourished my body in both healthy and unhealthy ways. I guess there was just so much I wanted to say that I didn't know where to start. Maybe each month I can choose a different topic instead of overwhelming you with all of my thoughts now on the subject.. we shall see. But one thing I do want to say is I hope you come here to this place, this space & feel lifted up today, not torn down. I pray that you feel empowered and that you are not alone, that we are all in this journey of life together, through the happy times and the more challenging times.  I want my little blog to be a place where you can feel refreshed, connected, and understood and a little lighter when you leave here.

With that said, I've decided to start with sharing more of myself. Going a bit deeper into my own story. All of my childhood I was petite, I was told I was "little, tiny, petite, thin, and always chosen to do gymnastic demonstrations with our instructor (which I hated and it gave me performance anxiety), I could run fast because of being light, I had friends tell me they wished they could be smaller like me, my mom had to sew all of my pants because I couldn't fit into teenager clothes and refused to continue wearing kids clothes in jr high.. Being "small" became something people labeled me with so much at such a young age that it became part of my identity.  I never knew this was happening, it just happened. As a therapist who works with young adults and teen girls, i see it happen with girl after girl after girl. Not just the girls that are "petite", but also to girls that are labeled "chubby, too tall, too boy-ish" you name it.  You tell someone something enough times and it leaves a mark.. they start to allow it to penetrate them.. to become a part of how they see themselves and identify with themselves. "If people are telling me this over and over, well then it must be true, and therefore it must be important for me to accept".  Which results in little kids believing they are fat, ugly, stupid, gay, a giant, etc etc etc. In my case, it made me believe that being thin was part of how people saw me, so if that ever changed then who would i be? would people still like me? would i become unloveable? If they made my appearance such a big deal, then it must be important for me to always be that..

As a child, our brains are not capable of cognitively understanding whats slowly occurring. My weight became something I valued, something I began to identify my worth by. It was more on the surface for me then, but as I got older it slowly went deeper and deeper into the core of who I was.  I remember the first year I started to really become a woman and saw my body change was around Junior year of high school. Up until then I looked like a little boy, no boobs, no hips.. you get the picture.  So this transformation was hard for me to accept. Thats when I started to struggle with loving my body,  finding my worth in my appearance, not in who I really am as a human being.  I would say my first couple years of college were the most difficult, not only had my body completely changed since childhood (in a woman) but I was now supposed to be a responsible adult and discover who I am and who I want to be ...for the rest of my life! Well, so I thought at the time.  Oh little girl, if I could have just had an hour with my old self, the things I would say to help her through those hard times!! I would just hold her, tell her shes loved, not because of her appearance, but because of her soul, her heart, her personality, her God given characteristics and soley because she is HIS CHILD and HIS CREATION.

I later began a journey of healing, a journey of allowing the Lord to show me through His eyes just who He made me to be. God was able to heal my woundeness, the places in my heart that had been damaged from the world and its views it imposed on me as a young child. We all have brokeness, sometimes it takes some exploring, sometimes it takes time to figure out, sometimes we try to deny our hurts and pain and push it deep down (i did this for many years) but when I finally worked on accepting and embracing myself, my body included, I found freedom. I was able to love myself, although imperfect according the worlds standards, I knew I was perfectly loved unconditionally by my Heavently Father, and His opinion of me was all that I needed to focus on.  Its so easy for us to try to be who the world tells us we "should" be, its much more difficult to be who God calls us to be & go against the current.  Loving myself as I am has allowed me to experience joy and peace in ways I could have never  experienced before because i was striving for something that wasn't attainable, to be perfect and the way other's told me I should be.. especially the media.  I feel terrible for the girls growing up in this world today, for those that are in jr high and high school right now, I pray for you, its even harder today than it was when I was there.  I commend you for your efforts to stay true to who you are.  I am honored to sit with these girls and counsel them because at their age, I dont know that I would have been brave enough to really look within or smart enough to know my heart needed some desparate healing.

Lastly, because im reading Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist, as I previously posted here My People, The Gift of Friendship, & A Vow Renewal , I wanted to end with some of her beautiful words that again, touched my spirit in a kind and gentle way:

 "..I'm learning to practive gratitude for a healthy body, even if it's rounder than i'd like it to be. I'm learning to take up all the space i need, literally and figuratively, even though we live in a world that wants women to be tiny and quiet.  To feed one's body, to admit one's hunger, to loook one's appetite straight in the eye without fear or shame-this is controversail work in our culture.

Part of being a Christian means practicing grace in all sorts of big and small and daily ways, and my body gives me the opportunity to demonstrate grace, to make peace with imperfection every time I see myself in the mirror".  

Her words are so refreshing, so true, and bring me peace.

"demonstrate grace, to make peace with imperfection every time I see myself in the mirror".. We can use these honest words not just for our bodies but in all areas of ourselves that we tend to be critical of.

So my update about being 4 months postpartum is short and sweet because it doesnt really matter does it? I have now lost all of the weight that I gained during pregnancy to house my little guy. I feel strong, I feel different, I feel like I have an even greater sense of respect for my body after having Cash. I am grateful for pregnacny and how its changed me for the better.  I don't look exactly the same and probably never will, but I don't mind in the least and that is the honest truth. I just want to be a healthy role model to my sons and daughters and love myself enough to experience the freedom He offers. I don't know that this would have been my view on this had I not gone through the difficult struggle with my body image in my teens.  I can now appreciate and be grateful for my health and all that my body is capable of.. espceially creating a life.

I'd love to hear from you.. i get several emails from you guys about weight, body struggles, etc and always welcome conversation. I love each of you and if you ever need prayer or someone to talk to you know where to find me! I only hope and pray that we can be a community that lifts one another up, prays for each other, and is supportive and transparent.

I hope you enjoyed reading a little part of my story and what has brought me to be the woman of faith I am today.  If you enjoyed reading please let me know by commenting, sharing, liking, or emailing me. I love to know your thoughts, and I appreciate knowing you guys are taking away something positive from my little world over here.. i want to hear about you & want this blog to be about your lives & your thoughts as well (;

xo

2 Months Postpartum & My View On Losing The Baby Weight

2 Months Postpartum & My View On Losing The Baby Weight

2 Months Postpartum (cant wait for that dark pregnancy line to fade away!)

Oh boy I'm a little behind on my posts because I have a few giveaways in the works for you lovely readers. So Needless to say, the above picture is from a few weeks ago and my sweet boy is now 10 1/2 weeks old! They just grow so quickly (ill try my best to finish his 2 months old post as well this week). 

My little work out buddy 

This is 8 weeks postpartum after a cardio session, feels so good to sweat again!

I lost 19 pounds of my gained pregnancy weight by 3 weeks postpartum. Since then I haven't lost any more weight. I gained 21 lbs while pregnant so I have 2 lbs to go until I reach "pre-baby weight". I just think "pre-baby weight" is such a silly term because although you might reach the same weight, your body can look & feel completely different than "pre-baby". I think I have a few lbs of body fat to lose & a few lbs of muscle to gain back. Our society has this strange fixation on getting back to "pre-baby weight" ..of course theres weight to lose since you have to gain a healthy amount while pregnant, but the biggest difference is toning up and letting your body adjust from having a huge baby inside of it (not necessarily losing that last bit of weight). For example, your uterus has to go back to its normal size (it goes from the size of a watermelon at 40 weeks pregnant, to the size of a pear while not pregnant) this takes at least 3 months after you've had your baby. I think it's about feeling confidant and great in & out of clothes again. And maybe it's a new confidence as a human that has now birthed another human?!. My point is, weight shouldn't be the goal.. The number on the scale really doesn't mean much & shouldn't define us. I aim to be strong, to be healthy & happy for my husband & son, to be an example & light for my Savior to use, & to feel great inside & out while taking care of my body so I can live a long joyful life with those i love while feeling good and energized. That's MY goal. I've done the whole "I'm hunnnngry and starving and cranky all the time" thing & the "overwork yourself and miss out on life" thing AND the "eat crappy and feel crappy" thing. Its a mess, it makes you feel like a mess, and its no way to live life abundantly the way we are meant to, the way God intended for us to. 

So if you are coming on this journey with me lets look at this from a healthy lens and encourage and lift each other up to be our best selves, love and embrace ourselves, and get to a place were we feel confident, and for lack of a better term,.. g r e a t. 

Making time to work out is tough and requires a bit more planning than when you can just pop into your car and go whenever you want (pre baby).  I have to either plan it perfectly for him to be napping (hes still young enough to do this and take him along in his carseat while i work out really quick), or on nights when my hubby is home early enough for me to go really quick, i will sometimes go but its hard to miss out on time alone with my husband while the baby is sleeping.  I work out probably 4 days a week doing cardio and i've been trying to do weights at least 1 time a week in a class..sometimes i can get in 2 times a week.  

I havent been as focused on getting back in shape (or more toned rather) than i have been on being happy and enjoying these moments with my family & juggling going back to work twice a week & spending quality time alone with my husband. Its tough when you also cook & clean and JUST moved a month ago and still have so much that needs to be done.  I slowly but surely will get to a place where im completely satisfied with my level of fitness and strength, but right now its not on my list of top priorities and i think thats a great thing.

I will work out when I can, stay motivated, and be okay with that.  I feel great right now, I may not look the same as I use to prebaby but I feel so amazing for just having made a life and getting to spend every day with my two boys. I feel healthy.. minus my stinkin sweet tooth (i can thank breastfeeding for that one).  I feel like my body is naturally going back to its shape somewhat, and i didnt have expectations of how long that would take or what the end result will be. Im not on any diet, im actually eating a little less healthy than i use to just because my cravings are really strong for fatty foods and sugar while breastfeeding but im okay with that too. My goal is to not be hard on myself and to ENJOY living in the present with my family.. because why strive so hard and stress myself out when i could be gone tomorrow and lose out on the really important moments with my two favorite people sharing giggles and cuddles.  

I havent noticed that much of a change since a few weeks ago, other than my uterus shrinking day by day (not using a wrap or anything for it just letting my body naturally do what its supposed to).  I think i'll kick up trying to tone up maybe in a few months when we're more in a groove of doing things around here and when we can establish more of a routine as he gets older and my husband and i figure out working and babysitting etc.

Stay tuned for my 3 month postpartum check in next month! I love doing this journey with all of you other mamas. Share your thoughts below!

One Month Postpartum

One Month Postpartum

                         


                           

One Month Postpartum

I cannot believe my little boy is already one month old. Caring for a child sure does make time go by in the blink of an eye.  I'm saving little Cashy's first month post for another day since there is so much I want to remember and share.  This post is just a little update ill be posting monthly as I begin my postpartum journey and getting back into shape. 

I want to start by saying I never felt out of shape. I really did what I could to stay active in some way mostly every day of the week, at least 5 days a week getting a real work out.  I think thats something I should pat myself on the back for because its hard work when you are exhausted and caring 20+ lbs on your front side.  Im happy with myself for taking care of my son while he was growing inside of me and also for taking care of myself, i helped myself in so many ways by staying healthy. I steered clear of numerous complications during pregnancy (ex diabetes, high blood pressure, swelling, etc), as well as during labor (i had endurance and strength.. and thank God for that because I labored for 4-5 days with no sleep!), i felt good and confident, i had endorphines and worked off stress and all those crazy pregnancy hormones that can get the best of you.  I made sure I ate well, drank enough water, and always aimed to sleep 8 hours. In short, I kept my body healthy, my mind healthy, and my baby healthy by sticking to a work out routine and a healthy balanced diet.. this helps a ton with a postpartum body.  

This first month has been a crazy process of learning to become a parent for the first time, sharing new duties with my spouse, dealing with sleep deprivation, painful breasts and learning how to manage all the stressors that can come along with breast feeding (timing going places, stressing when the baby wont eat or latch, being careful about not eating something that will irritate the baby, etc etc etc), my hormones changing after labor, my body transforming, coping with watching this little boy grow every single day right before my eyes when im no where near ready for it!, being stuck in the house because my body needed to heal and i needed a ton of rest those first few weeks, trying my best to make sure he doesnt get sick before getting his shots at 8 weeks, figuring out how we want to raise our child together, having guests come over and non stop people wanting to see the baby (so blessed and so grateful for friends and family but the first few weeks are rough because you are exhausted and also on a strict feeding schedule that you are not yet comfortable with,as well as trying to bond and learn how to be a new family), analyzing the babies every cry, coo, shreek, squeal, and grunt..lemme tell ya, its a little scaring becoming a new parent and not knowing whats normal and what is something to be watchful over.  This is just the tip of the iceburg when it comes to all the "newness" and all the changes that come with a beautiful new little one.  Its a lot to adapt to, but its worth every moment.

Okay, so now to the postpartum tummy. I didnt have expectations for what my belly would look like after labor or in the months near to labor.. i just trusted that whatever it looked like I would be perfectly okay with because I now have the greatest gift in the world resting in my arms.  I was pleasantly surprised that week by week my uterus shrank all on its own, no wraps, no belly bandit, no nothin. I just believed my body would do what it needed to in the safest way possible, the natural way, the way God created all womens bodies to know how to respond all on their own to labor.  And that has given me results i can be happy with and feel good about.  My body brings me joy after seeing what it is capable of. I never have appreciated it more than i do now. I grew a human being.... i am his life line still through breast feeding.. I think that is the most miraculous thing.  We are truly gifted to be able to create life, and we should thank our bodies for all the hard work they do.  We need to celebrate our body as women, and keep it healthy and appreciate all that it does for us and our children.  

So far i have just been doing walks 5 days a week for an hour.  I do flat surface, nothing difficult, walking at a slow pace with Cashy in the stroller. His Dr. recommended he get indirect sunlight so this helps us both get vitamin D as well as some fresh air.

I of course am looking forward to the day (at 6 weeks postpartum) that my Dr checks me and gives me the Ok to work out again. I love being active,.. i love the feeling, i love sweating, i love the challenge and working hard, i love how it makes me feel (endorphins) and physically, i love having muscle and being able to be strong, i love that it keeps my insides healthy and my heart happy and beating.  Its a huge stress reliever, it helps me clear my head and is a coping mechanism for me for sure for anxiety and all the worry that floods my mind time to time.  

So heres my plan:

Just go with the flow. 

I dont want to set the bar too high. I have no idea what it will be like working out again for my body or more importantly for this NEW mama.  I dont have the slightest idea what its like to have a child and try to make my own schedule at the same time. These past few weeks we've basically been on his schedule, thats just how it goest the first month or so.  So I dont have a plan but i do have some ideas: 

I think i will do walks with him 4-5 times a week (not giving myself a time frame but probably somewhere in between 30 min to 1 hour depending on if i make it to the gym that day or if i have things on our agenda that day).  

I would like to aim for getting into the gym 3 times a week (if i can do more, great!).  Id like to do at least 2 days of weights, and cardio on the precore all 3 of those days to shed the last 2 lbs of baby weight and firm up.

I can always do at home mommy work outs the other 2 days of the week after our walks. I can do lunges, squats, push ups, sit ups, get dvds, lift the baber, etc.  

So all in all id aim for 5 days of being active. 3 in the gym.. 2 at home. Plus walks to get fresh air and sunshine with my little boy.  

This idea may not work, but its just an idea not a plan.  So no expectations, just aiming for what i think i may be able to do. 

Questions:

I offered to answer any questions that you guys had on instagram (my insta is: tessaarmstrong8) regarding postpartum. Here are my responses... feel free to comment below with more questions if you have any: (i am posting verbatim the questions that were asked)

1) first person asked "what did you do to get your stomach so tight in the first place?:  I responded already to this so im just going to copy and paste my answer and then add to it:   my mom has really crazy abs STILL even in her fifties and has had 5 kids & doesn't do much in the way of ab work outs so I'm guessing a lot of my tummy comes from her (genetics) but I also do cardio and weights and sometimes (pre pregnancy) I'd do abs for Iike 3 mins twice a week in a 24 hour fitness class. But it's never been my focus.. I have other areas I have to work harder at .   I would recommend doing different ab work outs to work different muscles, planks, crunches, bicycles, mountain climbers, etc.  Maybe if i create an at home mommy ab work out ill post on it.
2)What did your stomach feel like right after you gave birth?:It feels soft.  If you push on it it feels like theres not much in your stomach.. meaning, you cant feel your abs or organs because theres so much room that your uterus is still taking up that it just feels really empty.  This lasts a couple weeks, around 3 weeks i could start to feel a little more hardness and feel my muscles as my uterus went down (it will go down on its own through breast feeding and over time..they say it is the size of a watermelon at birth and goes back to prepregnancy size which is the size of a pear.. that can take a few months).  Now at a month postpartum it just feels like i dont work out. My stomach use to be hard when i touched it but not it feels soft like i never work my core. Im sure its because I have extra cushion on it still as well as skin that needs to go back to normal (because your skin stretches so much around your belly to accommodate the baby)
3) What did you do about people visiting after you came home?Good question! We had a lot of people visit us at the hospital.. sort of funny, but we had quite a few visitors who didnt even tell us they were coming and just showed up..it was sweat and we werent bothered by it.  When we got home i felt beat up.. i had gone through 4 days of back labor with no sleep and then another 24 hours of active labor and delivering him, and then nearly 4 days in the hospital with an infant and no sleep. I needed rest to say the least.  We went and stayed at my parents house because our home was being extinguished due to our kitten getting fleas (indoor cat, not sure how she got them).  So we brought our new little one to a clean home.  My parents were so great about giving us space, we stayed there for 3 weeks while waiting for our own home to be ready.  We had so many friends and family asking to come visit but i was on a strict feeding schedule literally almost every hour feeding him, and was sleeping most of the day to catch up, so I sort of asked people if they could give us time to rest and bond and that they could come see him when we were ready. Everyone was so understanding,especially those that have gone through this experience before.  The only visitors we had while home were our immediate families.  Then once we got home to our place at 3 weeks we had our best friends come visit.  But hes only a month old so he hasnt had too many people.. we are trying our best to avoid him getting sick (as infants have really low immune systems and need to wait to go into public until they get their shots). 
4) Do you think our parents should come home with us to help?Thats up to you! Its personal preference. Id prefer not and to just call them when you have questions or need the help or need food etc.  This way  you and your hubby can bond and learn to be a family of 3. THis is such a special time and we wanted to have private special moments with just the 3 of us. We also were learning to parent and didnt want 100 opinions on how to do things, we wanted to figure things out on our own and ask questions when we had them.  You'll find that alot of people have their way of doing things, but every child is different, and every parent can choose their style of parenting.  It really depends on your parents, if they are smothering .. steer clear.  If they will give you space and not want to be around the baby 24/7 then go for it and take the help.  You will also have your hubby there to help and go run to the store etc, so you may or may not need the helping hand.  


Have a great week!!